Recently a very good friend of mine made a statement. He's one of the few who I trust and respect. The statement itself was rather shocking and I had a very hard time swallowing it. At first I thought it was a joke, but when I looked straight at him I realised he wasn't joking.
His face was dead serious and well, rather scary too.
I've had some time to think about what he said... and sadly, it's all true. Those words have been haunting me all day and all night, and I just can't get them out of my head. They kind of put my very being and what I do in serious doubt. They also made me realise I've lost my 'third eye'. The eye of a third person, to see everything from the perspective of a third person. It usually helped me make decisions and be neutral and straightforward about all the stuff I do. My attitude has changed from being calm and right-to-the-point to crazy, moody, and ignorant. You might even sum them up with words like 'blind' or 'aggression'. And I hate that about myself. What's worse, my 'art' has suffered because of it. The composition, colours, ideas, and quality of recent work's are dull. The blue isn't just as blue as it used to be, and the emotion it's supposed to represent isn't just like it's mean't to be, if it has any emotion at all. I guess I could blame it all on rushing the pieces and not thinking everything through. Building them all up on emotion and not really caring about small mistakes. Now I know you're supposed to have emotion when creating something, I mean, everything starts with emotion. But you're also supposed to have a clear head and a plan on how you're going to 'pull it through' to the very end. I remember myself being a perfectionist about small details and composition and... and just about everything. Now I even find it hard to grab an eraser and delete some of the smaller mistakes.
In conclusion, I'm lacking inspiration and style. I've lost what I had, but I've also gained something (because that's the way it works) Problem being - I've yet to realise how to use the element what I've gained in my new work. For now I'm just taking things as slow as possible and trying to think everything through. Constantly reminding myself that rushing is bad and I'm supposed to measure twice, cut once. I'm not deleting my gallery or anything, just letting you know that from this point on I put as much effort as I can into every single piece I do. That said, expect something big. Oh and, the statement... it basically was "all of your recent stuff sucks, get a grip!"
Wanna join the family? Note me.
Legion
